Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Beer Has Better Taste in Music Than I Do

Beer and music always go together. It is a major component of the drinking process and it is integral to the brewing process here at Fordham and Dominion Brewing.  I realized this the other day as we listened to the Avett Brothers album I And Love And You, for the billionth time.  You see, our Brewmaster believes that better beer is made with better music.  And I am ashamed to admit, the beer has better taste in music than I do.

Like beer, music is best left to those with crazy beards
This led to an interesting train of thought (hopefully this train does not derail).  When we write about our beer and describe it for magazines and news articles - we mention every single ingredient that goes into it, the hops, the malt, the yeast, heck, sometimes even the water. But we never mention the music that was played to the beer. Middle school science experiments would indicate that music may make up an interesting portion of the beer's personality (One word: DoppelBach).

In middle school, a lot of us had the opportunity to participate in science fair projects.  Some of us forgot about the science fair and then faked a month long experiment overnight ("I call it cup of dirt.  It is a cup...of dirt"), while others prepared months in advance.  At the fair,  there was always that one weird kid hanging out on the perimeter of the fair; the homeschooler who never showered, smelled like cheese, and used big words like "cenosillicaphobia,"(I call that weirdo "Brother") who had experimented with playing music to plants. The experiment always hypothesized that plants prefer classical music and will wither and die if you play them death metal.  The results of the experiment always proved the hypothesis correct.  Apparently plants react to the music in their environment.  They also have very refined taste in music.
According to this science fair project, snacks are a personality indicator....I wonder what Cheez-its mean.
If music affects plants so much, one can only imagine how it affects beer.  That is why I am proposing that all of our labels detail the music that was played to that beer.  No one wants to drink a Hop Mountain that was made more bitter by being forced to listen to Alanis Morissette, though one may want to drink a Hop Mountain that was infused with more bitterness by Kanye West (Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you. I'mma let you finish). Likewise, any good Helles Lager should be exposed to the stylings of George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers and a strong, German maibock should listen to Beethoven's 9th.

Beer has personality, and that personality should be respected through the brewery's musical choices.  That is why we let our Brewmaster determine which albums are played around our beers.  If you ever drop by during the day, you will notice the careful music choices that are made.  (I like to think that our beer is a little bit hipster, listening to music most people have not heard of yet.)

All that to say, the next time you are drinking a beer and it tastes a little off, ask yourself "Did someone play Vanilla Ice to this poor beer?"
Yes. That is Vanilla Ice.

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