Thursday, February 16, 2012

Someone Once Called Me The "Michael Scott of Analogies" - I Try to Live Up to That Praise Every Day

I cannot lie.  The first day of the Special Stout Diet did not go off quite as planned.  At 8AM, I drank my first stout, and that went well.  As it turns out, it is a very pleasant breakfasty flavor.  I suspect that it is the vanilla beans that make it so delightful.

I feel bad for all of the people who are so limited in their breakfast choices....Except for waffles. Mhmmm, waffles.
Lunch ended up being  a little more of a problem.   I felt like the world's biggest derelict looking for beer for lunch.  A lot of my coworkers don't know about this experiment so I assumed they were judging me as the world's biggest (Soon to be bigger. (See what I did there? That is a pun)) lush. Fortunately, the Oak Barrel Stout on nitrogen quickly allayed those feelings and any inhibitions I had about writing a press release.

Then came dinner.  I am under the impression that the purpose of a diet is to eat less.  However, upon being deprived of real food for most of the day (and despite not actually feeling hungry as a result), I hit dinner like it was going out of style, or like I was at my parent's house and my older brother was going to eat the last pizza.  I started with a breakfast sandwich, then moved on to a plate of brownies with chocolate. Then I went out to dinner, where I scarfed down cheese fries, barbeque chicken, bread, and chicken wings.  It was not a pretty sight. I would say it was as pleasant as watching Tarzan garotte a T-Rex (Someone once called me the "Michael Scott of analogies."  I try to live up to that praise every day).

A buffet would have been the perfect addition to my diet thus far...

The side effects so far have been minimal -- I am a little more easygoing.  But I also have to plan when I eat more carefully to make sure that I am not drinking and driving or drinking and hanging out with small children. I am also starving when it comes time to eat a real meal.  This beer replacement diet may actually make me more rotund.

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