Tuesday, February 21, 2012

No Cheez-It Is Safe After 5PM

If you are reading this, it is now day seven of the "Special Stout Diet."  The side effects of switching to a stout-based diet are now becoming apparent.  To begin with, dancing can occur anywhere at anytime.  My public appearances are becoming a liability.  No Cheez-it is safe after 5PM.

I don't always eat Cheez-Its, but when I do, I prefer Scrabble Jr. Cheez-Its, as they serve a dual purpose.
My ability to work has not been affected. In fact, I have accomplished more this week than any of the weeks prior.  I like to think that it is one of the advantages of having a drink for breakfast, rather than the fact that I now know more about what I am supposed to be doing.

I believe that drinkers, like gamblers in a poker game have tells - that little signal that they are buzzed and are rapidly approaching drunk territory (I refer to this little adventure and the subsequent return as "going there and back again -- A Hobbit's Tale," which is a super nerdy Lord of the Rings reference).  My tell is that I start cleaning superficially.  I move things from visible surfaces to cabinets and closets.  Some mornings, I wake up at home and cannot find anything. All that to say, my office is cleaner now than it has been in weeks.  There is no longer a giant stack of papers on my desk... but there is now a giant stack of papers in my drawer.

Through the miracle of "Paper Osmosis," the papers on my desk went from an area of high concentration (my desk surface) to an area of low concentration (my desk drawers).  Equilibrium is currently being maintained between both areas.
In terms of hunger, it is not so gnawing.  I have adapted to this new schedule of beer consumption.  The breakfast beer usually keeps me full for a while, but by the time I get to the lunch beer, I am a little hungrier.  To adapt to this change in pace, I have started eating dinner at four.  This meal lasts two hours.  I don't think that this is cheating, since I don't eat again before I go to bed.

I am not sick of Oak Barrel Stout.  It has given me the opportunity to really appreciate it for its fine craftsmanship...which reminds me of the XKCD comic strip I am posting below.

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